‘Jules of wisdom’ from my transitional journey

• Be incredibly grateful for who you are right now and the chapter you’re in, every chapter of a transition serves an important purpose, often the more uncomfortable the higher the importance, as this is the time when everything recalibrates. Your future self will remember this time and be proud of you, be grateful for you, your future self exists because of you, you are preparing the ground they stand on. You will look back on this time and realise it was worth every feeling of uncomfortableness; every emotional feeling you feel will be worth it tenfold.

• Take the most honest accountability and responsibility …. of yourself, your life, and where you currently are at …… make this the most honest analysis you have ever done … even if it makes you want to cringe, rock in a corner and beg the earth to open and swallow you whole. This is the first important thing to do, because it gives you the most honest direction to go in, it becomes your north star.

• Taking honest accountability isn’t pointing fingers outside of you, it’s always looking inwards: for myself this meant:

why did I stay in a situation for so long that was destroying me, what do I need to change within myself to ensure I am never in that situation again? – I needed to restore all the self’s that had been chipped away at  … love, trust, belief, confidence, esteem, worth

who am I now? – I didn’t recognise myself anymore

why have I not listened to the inner voice in myself for years telling me I can have, be and do more? – who do I need to become to have more, be more and do more?

how do I want my life to look? – how do I achieve this?

(important note: I understand terrible things happen to people completely out of their control and they need very specialised counselling, and the above isn’t relatable for this)

• You are not behind and you are not doing it wrong. You have everything you need inside of you … you just need to ignite it. Keep going, do not let the emotions of a transition stop you and pull you back, keep going!

• Listen to your intuition, gut feelings, let them guide you, they are telling you something important.

• Keep choosing aligned decisions, ones that the authentic best version of you would choose, ones that the future you would choose, that’s how you become who your meant to be, this is embodying.

• Be as authentic as you can be … don’t have a fragmented personality, being a different person around different people, don’t shrink around anyone, be your 100% authentic true self around everyone.

• Speak your truth, even it feels scary, nothing bad will happen to you. If someone treats you wrong, tell them your boundaries, if something isn’t right call it out. Speaking your truth builds momentum, the more you do it the easier it becomes and it builds the character of the person you are becoming.

• Whatever organically falls away – LET IT – you’re not taking it with you.

• If people don’t vibe with the updated version of you, they are attached to your outdated version, don’t try to hold onto them, they’re not going with you.

• Only take cheerleaders with you, not anyone who requires you to stay the same. If the energy changes between you and another person – LET IT – if you don’t hear from them anymore, it’s okay. You will come to realise you only miss who you thought they were.

• Spend time in solitude, shut out all the noise, listen to yourself, your intuition. Be a human being, not a human doing, all the time. Shutting out the noise allows your intuition to come through, it allows for the messages that you need to hear, your creativity has more room to shine, and it ignites the sparks you need.

• You don’t have to tell anyone you are doing inner work, you don’t need anyone’s opinion, this is your journey, listen to YOU, you know what’s best for you. TRUST and BELIEVE in yourself.

• Changes in your outside world are your validation that what your doing is working.

• Listen to podcasts, inspiring people, read books, do free trainings and meditate – for the love of God meditate! (I listen to guided ones for what I need).

• Recognise your old ways of being and call them out, the patterns that have been ruling your life, self-sabotaging you, holding you back and remember your ego tries to keep you in the familiar, what feels safe. Override the ego with your consistent daily habits that are in alignment with who you know you can be, this eventually drowns out the negative voice of your ego trying to pull you back. Your ego will see it’s safe to move forward into the new chapter and recalibrate.

• Push through with consistent daily habits, building a feeling of safety, self-trust, and self-belief within yourself, so you absolutely know you can push through the old patterns holding you back, and nothing bad is going to happen when you do. Be consistent and repetitive, build the momentum, the achievement of momentum will keep you going and it’s your biggest foundation of support.

• IMPORTANT – Do not beat yourself up – especially all you high achievers and ‘To Do List’ people (that includes me 😊) Do not overwhelm yourself, this puts you into freeze mode and you get less done. Setting small goals is fantastic, and this can be in different ways … it can be the goal of achieving a new daily habit everyday or chipping away at a more overwhelming goal like “I want to join a martial arts class” you could spend a week researching, a week making 3 enquiry calls, a week where you drive to the facility and look at it, a week where you walk into the facility and join – and so on – you get the picture.

IT’S NOT ABOUT BEATING YOURSELF UP BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T ACHIEVE SOMETHING, IT’S ABOUT HAVING DIRECTION, AND YOU CAN ACHIEVE THE DIRECTION YOU’RE HEADING TOWARDS, THROUGH SMALL CONSISTENT STEPS THAT BUILD MOMENTUM.

 

Be truly kind and nurturing to yourself, transitions can be exhausting and confusing, being kind to yourself helps you feel safe, it’s motivating and creates an inspiration that keeps you going.